Grief catches you unexpectedly in this collection of poems — the grief you were repressing about painful events. The journey from a happy past to an agonizing present is Kronenfeld’s major subject. In “At Home” she recalls her pre-teen years:
Once I twirled in my summerroom
from noon
to suppertime,
then, belly filled
with hamburger and hashed
browns, spun
into the what’s happening street.
The lilting rhythm of that first stanza sharply contrasts with the last one, which is about the much darker present:
I’m jolted awake in thick dark
en route to the bathroom, gripping
soft walls that collapse
in a clatter of hangers.
The book progresses chronologically. The middle poems deal with the sadness of being a caretaker. In “Institutional” the poet describes the universal experience of sitting in a waiting room in a medical facility:
A medical sadness — of molded
plastic chairs and slumped
upholstery,…
a sadness no elevator music
can lift…
a sadness in which fear,
pushed down
onto a conveyor belt,
rides round
and round
like unclaimed suitcases.
Present melancholy is heightened by memories of serene moments of the past, as in “Maiden Voyage:”
on the radio, Bach’s
Brandenberg, my first
sophisticated music, spilling
like tinkling crystal from city
windows as I lay in my high
bed — promising
a life of wonder…
Kronenfeld records the feelings of an adult watching aging parents deteriorate and the helpless anger and painful nostalgia after their deaths. In “Chrysalis,” the actual experience of witnessing a mother’s death in the hospital is etched brilliantly:
After we were shouted out in
a swirl of white
the grenade of tears bursting
in my chest,
I came back briefly to admire
his clean work: just your chrysalis
on the bed, like a drained glass
left on a hotel room table
And then the memories of vignettes from the past begin, as in “Names of My Mother’s Friends:”
They touched knees on stoops,
girlishly
coquettish, hung laundry together
on wind-scoured roofs, smiled at me
fit to burst, her naches theirs…
and their
names have been sent down to
the dark…
they have gone out like lights,
but they are still fragrant
as lace handkerchiefs
taken from a sachet-scented drawer—
Oh Stella, Dora, Ida, Gertie, Pearl,
oh Rose.
Kronenfeld, in describing grief, also evokes a past life at its happiest — in retrospect. And although the book is inexorably painful to read, these poems provide a kind of consolation by articulating the inchoate emotions experienced.